The Camera Never lies.......! ! COOL

The Camera Never lies.......! ! COOL

.

I'm crazy....... not STUPID !"

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH (Institute of mental health).

He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.. As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic.

One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened.
The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he told the patient the whole incident.

The patient laughed at him said "can't even fix such a simple problem.... no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."

Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as that" The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why are you here at the IMH?"

Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy....... not STUPID !"

3 PARROTS

3 PARROTS

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,

but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot..
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

But the other two call him"BOSS"!!

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Customer care in 2020

Customer care in 2020



Operator : 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your...'

Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'

Operator : 'Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?'

Customer: 'It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610'

Operator : 'OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'

Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'

Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'

Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'

Customer: 'How come?'

Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'

Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'

Operator : 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'

Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'

Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'

Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'

Operator : 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99'

Customer: 'Can I pay by! credit card?'

Operator : 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'

Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'

Operator : 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'

Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'

Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...'

Customer: ' What!'

Operator : 'According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,....registration number 1123...'

Customer: ' ????'

Operator : 'Is there anything else Sir?'

Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'

Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... '

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?'

Customer: ?????

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Puzzle For GENIUS

Puzzle For GENIUS

The 5 Riddles....

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SET OF FIVE RIDDLES....THE ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM. RIDDLE #5 IS AMAZING. IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER'S FOR YEARS!!

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words

Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

I know you are laughing.... .been easy so far...OK...

.

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw it away ?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly

you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and

plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it.. In fact, nothing

is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think

about it, but you still may not find anything odd... But if you work at

it a bit, you might find out.. Try to do so without any coaching!

THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead...

That one was easy, right?

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband,

developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).

3. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!

4. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

5.. The letter

e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

Hope you liked it....

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The Corporate Love Letter .........!! :))‏

In today's world of MBA's, the old fashioned Love-Letter is being replaced by such 'Corporate' Love-Letters, go ahead and read on.

Dearest Ms. _____,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you. Since the 25th of December 2008. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 24 th of December 2008 at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

However I am broadminded enough, to be taken care of all your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without any further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

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FUNNY IMAGES

(NICE COLLECTIONS)FUNNY IMAGES

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Puzzle for Fun

Puzzle for Fun

1. 
   
Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?
2. If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to takeone pill every half hour, how long would it take before all the pills had been taken?
3. I went to bed at eight O'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine O'clock in the morning. How many hours of sleep would I get before being awakened by the alarm?
4. Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?
5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?
6. If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil lamp ,an oil heater and a candle, which would you light first?
7. A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along.What color is the bear?
8. How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark?

Just put some pressure on you brain, you will be able to solve these.

At least try your best.

Try reading question again, more carefully, before looking at the answer.

Well Here are the Answers. All answers are correct, but the Logical reasoning has been left to you. If you don't understand any question, leave a reply.

1. 
   
All of them
2. 1 hour
3. 1 hour
4. 70
5. 9
6. The match
7. White. If all walls face south, the house must be on the North Pole.
8. None. It was Noah, not Moses'

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